Kids are messy - if you can, try to accept a certain amount of mess for the sake of your sanity.
If other family members are getting wound up about the mess - talk to them about whether their expectations are reasonable.
Ask the rest of the family for their ideas on how you can work together to make tidying up easier.
Talk about your expectations about cleaning up before ‘mess-making’ play/activity starts. Explain what will happen if kids don’t help - eg “Any toys left lying around will get put away for a while” or “If I have to clean up on my own, it will take longer and there won’t be time to go to the park…”
Over it? Use your phone timer to set a time limit for a play activity – your full attention for five minutes is better than half pai for longer.
Had enough? You may feel like you need alcohol or drugs to relax – but they often make the situation worse, especially when you have to deal with kids. Who could help you cut down or cut it out?