Some things you can try

  • Tell them about things in advance. “When I’ve finished hanging out the washing we will…”
  • Balance independence with limits: “Sit on the floor and you can hold your drink.”
  • Praise behaviour you do like, and ignore behaviour you don’t.
  • Pick your battles – focus on the things that really matter.
  • Give limited choices. Eg apple or orange?, not “what do you want to eat? 
  • Involve them in what you’re doing. Ask them to hand you the pegs, or get the mail.
  • Avoid tantrum triggers, like shopping when they’re tired or hungry.

Try to say what you do want them to do (and why). So instead of saying 'don’t run in the house', say 'please walk in the house, you might hurt yourself if you run'.